My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
they're like a gay fantastic four
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
