Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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