Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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