Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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