the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
