im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
