hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
