He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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