P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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