So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize