Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
