imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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