Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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