don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
