Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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