Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
