Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you told grandpa to call you daddy
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
