are you still at the devil's house?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
