You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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