Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
