you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
