Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
