I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
