i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize
