I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize