how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
