You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
