I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Someone shit on the floor
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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