I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
