Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
