at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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