I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Randomize
