Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
We need to rekindle our bromance
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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