He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
