Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
