i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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