i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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