I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
