what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
