I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
