Will you blow on my dice?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize