his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
