You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
