I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
