Sry I called you an 8
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
