that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Everclear isn't food dammit
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
