Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
