i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You have to summon your inner elephant
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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