Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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