pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
