I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
