I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
