how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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