now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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