oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I love you.
Bad choice
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
