she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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