Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
